Perfectly Imperfect

In this photo, we see the leaf is dotted with beautiful, clear, water drops, but there’s one that’s not. This is who we are too, we are perfect, whole, and complete and yet there’s more work to do. We are perfectly imperfect.

Recently I wrote about one’s life is the territory, and becoming intimate with one’s life is the practice.  When we drop who we think are, such as I’m not good enough, or I’m superior to others, the question arises: "Who Am I".  This question is a step in becoming intimate with one’s life - of not knowing, of not having fixed ideas about who you are. This is the practice.

When a feeling of loneliness, or anger, or jealousy, or any other feeling or idea arises this is the territory to explore.  When asked what his teaching is Zen Master Joshu (778-897 CE) said :  When cold, cold.  In other words, be that, don’t turn away from it. When jealous, jealous. When lonely, lonely, or whatever it is that we don’t want to see in ourselves.  Notice if you distract yourself, do you turn to TV? Do you gather with friends? What ways do you distract yourself? Then just allow yourself to feel loneliness, or jealousy or anger. 

When we are angry, feel the energy around it. Feeling the energy doesn’t mean we act on it. But exploring what is it that makes me angry? Exploring what it is allows us to just be angry, and express with it with clarity in an appropriate way, at the right time, the right place, the right amount, and the right position. When we experience jealousy, just be it, feel the energy, and when we just are it, it transforms into gratitude for all that we have. When we allow ourselves to feel loneliness, what arises is compassion for ourselves and others. 

No matter our age, we have the opportunity to grow up (it’s not easy), to mature, to become intimate with our life. We can appreciate our imperfections, and see ourselves as perfectly imperfect, as just being human, and continue to refine who we are by working with all aspects of ourselves. These are the ingredients we work with, this is cooking our life.

When we become intimate with our life, we settle into our body, “The Self settles naturally upon itself”* our true nature, our buddha-nature.

*Kosho Uchiyama, Roshi, The Function of a Settled Life, Chapter 13, "How To Cook Your Life, From the Zen Kitchen to Enlightenment," p.87.